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[14 Aug 2010|05:55pm]
i think i might be developing a minor case of ocd.

not trying to self diagnose.. just noticing things.

now that i'm not working my day surrounds keeping the house neat and tidy.

my bf's family are basically hoarders.. not buried alive hoarders.. but definately getting there.

they cleared out his spare bedroom.. about halfway deep (you couldnt even walk in there before) and now some of the stuff of his has migrated over to our house.

problem is we just moved in, and we don't even have any bookshelves much less a place to store the contents of these jumble fucked boxes stuffed with old paperwork and shit. i'm trying to make him go through it.. but its insanely hot today. being that we dont have AC and he's got ptsd.. he ends up getting soooo frustrated, cursing, yelling, stomping around.

not at me, just at whatever he can't fix, figure out, or find in these boxes.

i cleaned the bedroom and moved myself in here.. which of course made him respond with "why are you in here?"

i tried to explain that it really bothered me how messy the house was, (now full of boxes of both his stuff and my stuff from moving here) and that i want to get it in order.. but because we're strapped for cash, he gets frustrated because he knows we cant organize it right now.

i feel totally neurotic. if things arent a certain way i get so frustrated and anxious. now theres all this clutter and no where for me to put it. i wanna tear my hair out and cry. but i dont wanna start an arguement with him. FML.
1 minutes left

[05 Jun 2009|06:09pm]
so today i was working at the hospital at my "old" job since i havent started training with the new one.

i was doing an EKG on this lady and she goes, "do you have a cat?" now mind you there are pictures of the workers animals on the wall so i was like "no, why?"

"because of the scars on your arms"

i was like... great...

i didnt really know how to handle it so i just said, "no, i'm bipolar and i used to self injure". she was totally silent.

i dont know if that was the right answer... it felt so odd and out of place to really say that to a complete stranger. even though im relatively open in terms of my diagnosis.

i dunno... it just sucked. even when you think you're doing better, it feels like theres always someone to bring you down.
3 minutess left

[04 Aug 2007|03:57am]



:::friends only:::
7 minutess left

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